Tash's B'day Party

Beloved Tash-Friend,

A week from today, on Friday, October 28th, your friend Tash will turn 33. (Don't tell her we told you, though. She's been pretending she's 28 for years. Yeah, right!)

We thought you might actually be the kind of person who has a life and a job, so we've taken the liberty of CAPITALIZING the really essential bits, in this otherwise painfully long email, for your convenience. Scroll down to them and skip the rest.

So, this b'day thing… well, instead of doing the normal thing, which, of course, would be to hide her age and herself under the bed that day, she wants to do the opposite: INVITE YOU TO CELEBRATE IT WITH HER!

Weird, right? Well, we know it's weird, you know it's weird, but she's weird so she doesn't know it's weird, and she pays us a lot of money to do this for her, so please humor her and come to this party. It WILL BE FABULOUS, by the way!

To give you a vague IDEA of what you might expect, see the ATTACHED INVITATION.

Now you're thinking: "What the hell is THIS? Romance In Ice? I thought it was supposed to ba a b'day party?!" That's what you're thinking, right?

O.K. Here's the deal… we are Meiling and Nataša from the !WOWW EVENTS agency. Only the coolest, hippest events gals in Taipei City and County! So, of course everyone wants US to do their b'day PARTIES and other EVENTS, but we're like booked solid all the way till like forever. But when this person Tash approached us we had to do it because she's like family (don't you just hate it when you make it big and all the so-called family starts coming around asking favors?) So then she says (in that nasal, drawn-out voice of hers): "I don't want just ANY old b'day party. Mine's got to be SPECIAL and DIFFERENT!" Gee, SPECIAL and DIFFERENT, like we'd even do anything BUT that!
SPECIAL and DIFFERENT – that's what we DO! Jeez!

O.K... moving on to:

EXTREMELY important details (Don't skip them like you would Terms and Conditions when you're installing software, or if you're a guy, instructions for any type of electrical device. Skipping these is far more dangerous than getting into trouble with the IP people or electrocuting yourself!) :

1. 
   Please, do RSVP us by SUNDAY 23rd if you're coming! We're running a TIGHT ship.
   Invitations are EXCLUSIVE. YOU are SPECIAL and have been selected using extremely rigorous criteria. If, HOWEVER, you simply cannot come without bringing your favorite spouse, dog, child, cousin and/or mom and brother visiting from Hungary, it's ok. because apparently, Tash wants you to come SO MUCH that she'll take all kinds of crap from you, and so do we, because she's the boss here. But, still, please exercise restraint.
2. 
   USE PUBLIC TRANSPORT or TAXI. DON'T DRIVE!!! We can't stress enough how sorry you will be if you don't take this piece of advice seriously. Not so much to do with the lack of parking space, but more to do with the fabulous cocktails we'll be consuming that evening.
3. 
   LOCATION will be revealed to you just before you need to know. It's enough to say for now that it's in Taipei City, and that there is an MRT station nearby.
4. 
   GIFT: nothing you need to worry your pretty heads with. You'll know in due time and we promise it'll be simple. Or, not.
5. 
   DRESS-CODE: casual, warm. Like you would for an apres-ski party, or if you were the lead in Dr. Zhivago (actually, we recommend renting Dr. Zhivago on DVD prior to the event anyway, in order to get yourselves into the mood). Try not to leave any skin uncovered. Ladies, NOT your favorite pair of shoes.

On all points: More details after RSVP

To confirm, reply to this email and say something like:
"Yes" or
"Yes, I'll come" or
"I'll come, but don't expect me to be romantic or anything goofy like that!" or
"Sure, but I don't get any of this."

See you there!

The !WOWW gRLZ
(on behalf of Tash)